


Humans are Basically Cats

by HardPass



Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Admit it, F/M, Fluff, I feel like this is progress for me, Jaal needs advice, Peebee sucks at giving advice, Ryder loves tea more than anything, Sleepy Ryder, hand holding, humans are basically cats, i didn't describe the dubious stains on Liam's couch, learning alien culture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-16
Updated: 2017-05-16
Packaged: 2018-11-01 10:15:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10919760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HardPass/pseuds/HardPass
Summary: Jaal seeks out advice from his crewmates on how to show his affection toward Ryder early on in their relationship. It goes just about as well as you'd expect.Just a quick piece that popped into my head and made me giggle as I was jotting it down, so I thought it was worth the share.





	Humans are Basically Cats

**Author's Note:**

> So this could probably fit somewhere in the continuity of my other Ryder/Jaal fics, but it also stands alone. I just couldn't resist writing it the second it popped into my head.

Jaal stood, transfixed, as Ryder shuffled out of the Pathfinder’s quarters on the  _ Tempest _ . He stood in the galley, half-opened tube of protein paste in one hand, cup of tea in the other, and watched in awe as she slowly and languidly stretched her arms above her head. Her shirt rode up on her belly, giving him a glimpse of pale skin underneath. She ruffled her hands through her buoyant, brown curls, fluffing them out and scratching her scalp. Then, her arms lost all tension and flopped to her sides. She let out a delicate yawn, finally glancing around and spotting him barely around the corner, certainly still within line-of-sight. 

“Oh. ‘Morning Jaa--” His name was cut off when she yawned again. “Mmm. Do me a solid and put a kettle on while I hope in the shower?”

A solid? A solid what? The straight-across translations offered no insight into context, and the Initiative languages were full of corners and dead-ends he couldn’t keep up with. Their capacity for metaphor, analogy, and simile often left his head spinning. He loved it. Loved learning their twisting paths of communication. He’d finally caught on enough to make educated guesses, but he occasionally sat Liam down with entire lists of idioms he’d picked up to have them explained. 

“Of course,” he agreed as she blinked sleepily and shuffled to the bathroom. 

His entire heart sighed as he watched her go, catching a few times, fluttering, and finally falling back into rhythm. He never thought he would find one of the pale little aliens so physically appealing, but there was much to be said about the silken coils of her hair and the gentle curves of her body. Ryder in particular was slight, short, almost fragile in appearance. If he hadn’t seen her punch a kett into the side of a cliff with her fist and an omni-mod, he might have never believed it. 

It thrilled him that she had expressed an interest in him. Now that he finally got her to speak plainly, or at least expose some of those hidden emotions of her, he had discovered a wealth of emotions she normally kept buried, hidden. With how she guarded her heart and her mind visible at last, he found himself seeing past her plays at bravado. He shook his head. It was even, dare he say,  _ endearing _ . He was still uncertain about a great many things, especially when it came to cultural norms for Ryder, but he was committed to learning. 

Smiling absently to himself, he filled the kettle with water and set it on the stove to heat. Sampling the packet of paste in his hand, he meandered his way toward the aft end of the ship, through the crew quarters to grab his rofjinn he had yet to don that morning. Peebee was the only one in there, bent over and rifling through Gil’s bunk. 

“Good morning Peebee!” he boomed. 

She squeaked and flew back, clutching at her heart and stammering a response. “Fucksakes, Jaal, you scared the shit out of me!” 

Not for the first time, he was grateful their language was almost never literal. 

“Sorry,” he muttered. He glanced around. Ryder in the shower, the others off shambling through their morning routines. He lowered his voice a pitch. “Would you mind if I asked you something, Peebee?” 

“As long as it’s not why I’m snooping through Gil’s bunk.” 

“No. I thought...perhaps you could enlighten me on a few things. About Ryder. Or, I suppose, humans in general.” 

“Oh god. It’s too early for a sex talk,” she groaned. 

“No,” he insisted, flushing violet. “Nothing terribly crass. I just, I feel my affection for Ryder growing, but I don’t know what an appropriate way of conveying that is. I don’t know what’s...appropriate. Or inappropriate.” 

“And you’re asking me? Not Liam?” 

“I wanted a non-human perspective. I thought perhaps you might be able to relate to crossing cultural divides to a species not your own.” 

She twisted her face, then shrugged. “Okay, yeah. I guess you have a point. So Ryder isn’t one for mushy feelings. I think that is well and truly established. You’re on your own extracting those from her. However, humans are super physical. In fact, I’d go so far as to say, yeah, humans totally dig being pet. They’re basically cats.” 

“What are cats?” 

“Small, furry mammal commonly kept as household pets.” 

“Oh. Yes. We have something similar.” 

Peebee nodded firmly. “Well, as the furriest of the Initiative species, humans, in general, are  _ totally _ weak for being pet. They love having their hair played with or their arms stroked. It’s intimate, though, which I’m thinking for you, is right on track.” 

His lips flattened slightly as he thought the advice over. “So I should pet her. Like a domesticated house animal.” 

“Yep. Definitely.” 

“You are...as Liam would say...pulling one over on me,” he accused. “Besides, aside from the tops of their heads, humans don’t seem to have hair elsewhere.” 

She folded her arms as she leaned against the bunks, smirking. “It’s pretty fine, almost invisible, but it’s  _ literally _ everywhere. On their faces, their arms, their bellies, their backs, their legs, their toes. Humans don’t like to think of themselves as fuzzy, but they totally are. It makes them exceptionally soft, though. I don’t know what they’re complaining about. You should see their grooming routines! I think Ryder had the areas she doesn’t want hair lasered off so she doesn’t have to worry about it, but clipping, trimming, and shaving is, like, a huge part of their toilette,” she rambled on. 

“That’s...very interesting. I’m still not sure I believe you that she would respond to being stroked.” 

Peebee winked. “Sure, if you do it in the right spot.” 

He groaned, giving up on her, but Vetra meandered in before he could leave. 

“Hey, Vet, back me up on this. Humans are basically cats.” 

The turian twitched a glance toward them, paused, and cocked her head. “I never thought about it like that, but have you  _ heard _ the noises they make when you stroke their hair? Yeah. I can see it. Humans are basically cats.” 

“So Ryder wants me to pet her?” he demanded, still unconvinced. 

Vetra began changing into workout gear, entirely unself conscious about her body as she removed the articles she had on. “Probably get permission first, but she’ll fall to putty in your hands the second she lets you.”

“Are humans really furry all over?” 

“Like you wouldn’t believe,” she laughed. “You’ve seen Liam without a shirt, haven’t you?” 

“Liam totally waxes. He doesn’t count,” Peebee argued. 

“Look, Jaal, if you want to show Ryder some physical affection, just ask her and she’ll tell you want she’d like. She’d be open to it. I have it on good authority.” Finished changing, Vetra sauntered back out, heading toward the cargo bay. 

Peebee began shamelessly poking back into Gil’s bunk. “She’s right. Ryder’s super approachable. If you just said, ‘Hey, furry babe, can I pet you like a pussy?’ I bet she’d totally go for it.” 

“Pet her like a…?” 

“Pussy. Mean’s cat.” 

Jaal had always been able to ready Peebee when she was in a pesky mood. He resolved to consult Liam on anything she advised he say. In fact, he ought to consult Liam anyway. As a human, he would know better than the asari and turian on what kinds of affection Ryder might respond to. Multiple perspectives was wise. He didn’t want Ryder to close back up toward him, not so soon after she finally began making attempts at emotional honesty. 

“Thank you,” he expressed earnestly, even if he was certain part of her responses had been teasing. “This has been illuminating.” 

Liam wasn’t difficult to find. This early in the morning, he would have already finished with his a.m. exercise routine and would be sucking down a protein smoothie in front of his vid screen. 

“Mind if I join you?” he asked, hovering in the doorway. 

The man threw out an arm. “Mi sofa, su sofa.” 

He took that to mean he was welcome without demanding any further explanations and took the other cushion. The vid playing was one of Liam’s favorites, a show about a salarian with unfathomable intelligence who solved crime. 

“What’s up?” he asked, lowering the volume. 

“I asked for Peebee and Vetra’s advice on how to show my affection to Ryder.” 

He burst out a laugh, but cut himself off. “Them? Why them?” 

“Because they are not human. They would have an alien perspective.” 

“And did they?” 

“They likened your kind to something called ‘cats’ which I take to be a small, furry mammal who enjoys being pet. They suggested you respond to such stimuli.” 

Liam swung his gaze towards him like he had gone certifiably insane. “They did? Were they having you on? Unless...well...I guess they’re not  _ totally _ wrong. It’s nice having your hair played with. Makes the scalp tingly. And, like, I mean, I like it if someone wants to run their hands over my arms or rub my back. Or lightly scratch it, even. And...fuck. We’re totally like cats.” He looked down, mouth slightly agape, stricken with this epiphany. 

Jaal reached out to pat his shoulder. 

“Oh, that’s not even funny,” the man growled, shoving him off. 

“So, Ryder would respond if I wanted to, um, how did Peebee put it? ‘Stroke her like a pussy?’” 

“No!” he cried, mouth dropping open in horror. “That’s not...I can’t... _ Peebee _ !” He opened a comm link to her. “You wanker! Don’t tell him things like that!” 

He heard her signature cackling through the mic before Liam cut her off again. 

Turning back to Jaal, he said, “Not that. Just keep that one to yourself. Pretend you never heard it. Look, if you want to try something fairly benign, just hold her hand. It’s a little elementary, but you two are going to have to start somewhere. Or hugs. She likes hugging. Ryder is definitely an A-plus hugger. So just, sit her down, grab her hand, and then...talk to her. I know, she’s not the easiest to talk with, but she’s got it bad for you. She’ll make the effort.” 

Jaal assumed that was a good thing. 

“So hand holding is good?” 

“Yes. Hand holding is good. The perfect place to start. You’ve got this,” Liam promised.

Nodding, he thanked his friend for the insight, boosting up off the couch. By the time he returned to the galley, Ryder had taken a seat at the booth with her steaming cup of tea, staring into it vaguely, her curls damp around her shoulders. She appeared half-asleep, still, but she glanced up and afforded him a smile when he entered. 

The smile was enough to stop his heart for a moment. 

Stars, but he wanted to be closer to her. 

So, he made an attempt at bridging some of those gaps. Refilling his own mug of tea, he set it on the table and scooted into the booth until they were side-by-side. Then, with enough deliberateness that she could pull away if he made her uncomfortable, he reached out and took her hand in his own. At first, she seemed a little surprised, but her expression softened and she gave his hand a little squeeze. He responded with a very light tickle of bioelectricity, just enough to feather over her palm and fingers. 

She sipped her tea, still smiling. “This is nice.” 

“I’m glad you think so, my darling.” 

Without prompting, she scooted closer to him so that their hips, thighs, and shoulders touched. He trickled another little wave of bioelectricity over their points of contact. To an angaran, it would have read as approval. With Ryder, she simply seemed to enjoy it. 

“So, any idea why Peebee meowed at me when she passed me earlier?”

“What’s a ‘meow?’” 

“A noise a cat makes. Domesticated, mammalian housepet,” she added for context. 

“Oh. I see. I have no idea,” he lied, smothering his smile behind his cup. 


End file.
